Learning from Others

“Walk with wise men, and thou shalt be wise; but the companion of fools shall smart for it” (Proverbs 13:20, ASV, other texts from RVIC unless otherwise noted).

— Jim Parkinson

The theme text above reminds us that the people we choose to surround our-selves with play an important role in the growth of our character. From it, we learn that we may become wise by walking with the wise — listening to their counsel and learning from their example. By contrast, we must also avoid corrupting influences and maintain a clear conscience. In this way, Proverbs 13:20 shows us another practical way the Christian must guard the heart: by carefully choosing the influences we allow to surround us and shape us. This is an important principle for any who seek to guard the heart from sin and maintain close fellowship with God.

I Can Learn More by Listening than by Talking

The goal of seeking wisdom is to better discern how to guard our hearts. If we are to gain the benefits of walking with wise companions, we must first be willing to stop talking and listen to those from whom we may learn godly wisdom.

Consider the current cultural climate. Despite living in a world full of information, freely available at our fingertips, we live not in the Brain Age, but in the Age of Insecurity. People with an insecurity complex commonly insist on doing all the talking. Yet those who think they know it all leave little room to learn anything more.

A heart that would be guarded must be humble enough to listen. We learn more by listening than by talking. Consider a few scriptural examples of those who either benefited from listening or suffered from refusing wise counsel. King David’s son, Amnon, refused to listen to the voice of his sister, and two years later, it cost him his life (2 Samuel 13). King David did not listen to his nephew Joab, captain of his army, but numbered the people (for an army to go to war), and it cost the lives of 70,000 men (2 Samuel 24). Yet earlier, when King Saul listened to a young lad, David, he was freed from the threat of the giant, Goliath, the rest of his Philistine enemies fled, and the enemy camp was theirs to plunder (1 Samuel 17:31 ff.).

Nicodemus was a ruler of the Jews and a Pharisee, who came to Jesus saying, “Rabbi, we know that thou art a teacher come from God; for no one can do these signs that thou doest, except God be with him” (John 3:1 ff.). Yet most Pharisees, Scribes, and Sadducees, looked only to find fault with Jesus (Matthew 21-22). Jesus’ disciples listened when he said, “When ye see Jerusalem compassed with armies, then know that her desolation is at hand. Then let them that are in Judaea flee unto the mountains” (Luke 21:20 ff.); they saw Vespasian’s Roman army advance on Jerusalem in AD 68 and withdraw in 69, so they fled across the Jordan River. The next year Titus brought the Roman army back to destroy the city and the temple; many Pharisees lost their lives, and Sadducees lost either their lives or their livelihood.

Similarly, at this latter end of the Gospel Age, we are to be alert, “let him that readeth understand” to “see the abomination of desolation … having stood in the holy place” (Mat-thew 24:15-18); so we are to “Come forth, my people, out of her [Babylon], that ye have no fellowship with her sins” (Revelation 18:1-5). So too our spiritual lives may be at stake. Let us be sure to heed this solemn warning.

“Incline thine ear, and hear the words of the wise, and apply thy heart unto my knowledge … That thy trust may be in Jehovah” (Proverbs 22:17, 19).

Learning From Mistakes

There is the storied interview with the successful man. How did you get to be so successful? — Good decisions. How did you come to make good decisions? — Experience. And how did you get experience? — Bad decisions!

Wisdom: A good man learns from his mistakes. A wise man learns from other people’s mistakes. This is especially valuable to the Christian who seeks to walk with the wise, learning from both the good and the bad examples preserved for us in Scripture.

We are Affected by our Environment, but not Products of it

We should not seek out dishonest and rebellious people for close friends. Yet, we should remain open to helping and encouraging repentant sinners to change their ways. “And such were some of you” (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).

The Pharisees asked Jesus’ disciples, “Why eateth your Teacher with the publicans [tax-collectors, most of them extortioners] and sinners?” Is that not a reasonable question? Yet, it was the publicans and sinners who came to Jesus, rather than the other way around (Matthew 9:10-13). Matthew, a publican, had just been called to be a disciple. Would not other publicans have now been curious? Perhaps thinking about changing their ways? Should Jesus have turned them away? He instead showed them the way to repentance and honest living.

Who would have thought of becoming friends with a man who had done so much evil to fellow Christians? Yet Barnabas was quick to see the change in Saul of Tarsus (Acts 9:26-28, 11:22-30), later known to us as the Apostle Paul. Let us also be alert to encourage modern repentant publicans and sinners.

The Apostle Paul warned Timothy — and so warns us now — that “in the last days” ¹ perilous times would come, when men would be “lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud,” and more; “from such turn away” (2 Timothy 3:1-5 KJV). The warning is not merely against the people themselves, but against the spirit that governs them. If the heart is to be guarded, it must not be shaped by selfish, proud, or unholy influences. “Evil companionships corrupt good morals”
(1 Corinthians 15:33).

(1) The Apostle Peter interprets “the last days” (plural) as encompassing the entire Gospel Age (Acts 2:17). “The last day” (singular) begins at the beginning of its harvest (John 6:39-40).

At the same time, Paul gives a needed bal-ance. While we are to keep away from immoral influences, we cannot entirely avoid the world, for in order to do so we would need to “go out of the world” (1 Corinthians 5:9-13). Yet when separation is necessary, the spirit must remain corrective rather than hateful: “have no company with him, to the end that he may be ashamed. And yet count him not as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother” (2 Thessalo-nians 3:14-15 ASV).

These apostolic admonitions remind us that we must guard our hearts by choosing carefully those whose companionship we seek, thereby avoiding being influenced by the spirit of selfishness that dominates this day. This principle applies not only to close friendship, but also to the way we conduct ourselves in the world. None should try to take as much as he can from the world and try to give back as little as possible (Ephesians 4:28). Should a Christian’s attitude reflect badly on Jesus Christ, who sent him? We should each endeavor to give more than we take. Whether our work be in agriculture, technology, accounting, or some other honest pursuit, let it be a way to bless the world, a foregleam of what we hope to do for the world in Christ’s Kingdom.

This spirit of giving more than we take should extend beyond our work. We should help others as we are able. Sometimes we must prioritize. “As we have opportunity, let us work that which is good toward all men, and especially toward them that are of the household of the faith” (Galatians 6:10). Yet we are not to overlook even our enemies: “If thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink” (Romans 12:20).

If You See a Good Example, Follow it; If You Do Not See a Good Example, Set One.

Jesus said to his disciples, “Follow me” (Matthew 8:22, 9:9). By this, he intends that we shall follow his example, to the best of our ability. The Apostle Paul does so and encourages us to do the same: “Be ye imitators of me, even as I also am of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1). While we are not to worship even the most faithful of Christians, we can learn from watching their examples.

We all need correction from time to time. “A fool despiseth his father’s instruction: but he that regardeth reproof is prudent” (Proverbs 15:5, KJV). Each of us will, at times, be told we should do something different than what we are doing. Is the criticism right or wrong, or some of each? It is good to quietly listen to the reproof and then to evaluate it.

Such knowledge is useful when it is applied. King Saul knew what he should do concerning the Amalekites, but he did otherwise and paid a heavy penalty for it (1 Samuel 15). Achan knew what he should not do about the spoil at Jericho, but did it anyway (Joshua 7); it cost three dozen Israelites their lives, and then also cost Achan and his family their lives. By contrast, a wise woman spoke to Joab, the warrior who planned to kill everyone in the city, and she saved its citizens by her wise counsel (2 Samuel 20:16 ff.). “If ye know these things, blessed are ye if ye do them” (John 13:17).

Most knowledge is a good thing, but wis-dom is knowing how to apply it. If we find in our daily lives that there is a lack of good examples, then we should not despair. If we can be influenced by those around us, then they can be influenced by us. We can accomplish this best by letting others see how we practice what we preach. From “Sermons We See” (Edgar Guest), “I’d rather see a sermon than hear one any day; I’d rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way.” Your life may be the only Bible your neighbor ever reads.

Few Things in Life Beat a Clear Conscience

The Scriptures admonish us to carefully consider the influences we surround ourselves with. If we wish to guard our hearts effectively, we must choose companions who encourage us to grow in righteousness. If we are careless, our growth may be bent toward whatever influences we allow to shape us. Deception, for example, is common in the world. A person may be enticed into something profitable or enjoyable, but shameful, by the assurance that “nobody will know.” Yet when we yield to such temptation, we lose one of the most valuable possessions we have: a clear conscience. Worse still, hidden sin makes the heart vulnerable to fear. The very influences that led us into sin may then use the knowledge of that sin to press us toward further compromise.

Jesus told us, “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravening wolves” (Matthew 7:15). Approaching the end of his life, the Apostle Paul also warned, “I know that after my departing grievous wolves shall enter in among you, not sparing the flock; and from among your own selves shall men arise speaking perverse things” (Acts 20:29, 30).